I should start by saying if you’re looking for a “Pajama Party Barbie Overdrive”, you my friend should keep looking. You’re not dealing with any ordinary cookie cutter Zendrive here. Don’t let her name fool you. This thing was forged in the fires of Mordor and doesn’t give a damn about noise ordinances. This baby’s pulse is pumping 1.21 jigawatts of pure uncensored sonic destruction through the nuclear power plant that is her PCB. This ain’t no sissy Guitar Center crap, if you want her to obey your every command, you better work, buddy.
Dial in your signature tone like it’s your with all 4 Volume, Dirt, Tone and Swank knobs. Ooooo, but you better have a gentle touch boy, cause these pots are active as hell. If you’re looking for a pedal that needs to be babied, dusted and stored on a protective 900 dollar boutique pedalboard, steer clear buddy, cause she’s a rugged bitch and you won’t need to worry about any of that. This is a mans’ pedal. Capable of taking a stomp from a Cave Troll in steel toes and a Slayer cut-off. If you think you’re ready to park this panty hauler on your tract of board put 120 USD in Charles Bennetts’ hand.
If you buy this pedal you better go get your old lady ready for some damn changes around your lair, cause this shit will be happening. What will be happening? Glad you asked….
1. More chest hair.
2. You’re growing a beard.
3. Meat Only Diet.
4. T-Rex for a pet.
5. You’re taking a job at the lumber mill.
6. Your car carries five kegs.
7. Penis enlargement.
8. Catch more fish.
9. Wire bristled toothbrush.
10. Sex in the yard.
11. Sex in the garage.
12. All male offspring.
13. Chiseled jaw line.
14. Not giving a damn.
15. Flesh turning to steel.
16. Higher salary
17. Promotions.
18. Better looking wives.
19. Better looking mistresses.
20. More golfing
21. More killing stuff.
22. More dead animals in the KITCHEN freezer.
23. More tools in your garage.
24. Bigger TV
25. Wife takes out the trash
26. Four Wheel Drive
27. Wife brings trash can in from road.
28. Wife stops complaining about clothes on floor.
29. Wife stocks fridge with beer.
30. Chuck Norris.
31. John McCain
32. Steaks for dinner.
33. Winning the Lottery.
34. Women on the side.
35. Wrestling with Andre the Giants ghost.
36. Building shit out of stone.
37. Riding Lawn Mower.
38. Bon Fires in cul-de-sac.
39. Bar Fights.
40. Wife picks you up from The Gentlemen’s Club.
41. Craftsman Tools.
42. Peter Steele.
43. Welding stuff.
44. Digging holes.
45. Huge Piece of meat.
I know what you’re thinking, sounds awesome. So, if you think you’re man enough to represent the Chuck Pedals brand, Pony-up and whip out your cold hard cash. Get a hold of Chuck and he’ll send you one right to your front door step. Better start trimming your nails with a belt sander, Chuck can smell a sissy from 1000 miles away from his Log Cabin up in the hills of Anaheim waiting for the spot next to your 16 shotguns and meat drying rack to be filled with bad mother.
Users: Nick Perri
Submitted by Kyle H, Instagram, Twitter
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